Why Your Brain Doesn’t Want What’s Good for You (And What to Do About It)
A couple of years ago, I had a vivid and deeply motivating fear: that I would lose muscle mass, fall off a curb, break my hip, and die alone in a nursing home. (It wasn’t subtle. But it was effective.) So I hired a personal trainer. We met at 5 AM (yes, before my clinical shifts) because I didn’t want to die debilitated and alone.
Eventually, I got stronger. Confident enough, even, to move on from personal training and join the 5:30 AM CrossFit class at my gym, the one I used to see happening while I trained. These people were fit, fast, and strangely joyful. They looked like they were in on some early-morning, endorphin-fueled inside joke. I wanted in.
So what happened when I switched to that class?
Almost nothing. My alarm would go off at 5:10 AM, and my brain would just say: “Nope.” Back to sleep. On the rare occasions when I did manage to get myself to class, I felt clumsy and out of place. My thoughts? “I don’t belong here.” “I’m not one of these people.” “This is embarrassing.” Never mind that no one said that to me. Quite the opposite. The group was kind and welcoming, or too focused on surviving their own workouts to notice I was there. The judgment was all mine.
Which begs the question: why was I struggling so hard to do something I’d already proven I could do?
The answer is simple: evolution.
We are wired to avoid pain, conserve energy, and seek pleasure. The humans who survived to reproduce weren’t doing early-morning burpees for fun. They were resting when they could and saving calories in case of famine or saber-toothed tigers. Our brains have been optimized over millennia to not do hard things—unless survival depended on it.
Now, enter academic medicine, which taught us to override all that programming for other people. We leap out of bed when a patient codes. We skip lunch to appeal a prior authorization. We stay late to support a colleague, return a family’s call, or finally finish our notes. We are highly trained to do hard things… but only when someone else needs us.
Doing hard things for ourselves? That feels optional. Extravagant, even.
And our brains don’t help. When I told myself, “You don’t belong in this class,” it wasn’t because it was true. It was because my brain wanted me to stay safe and conserve energy. It tried to protect me. Just not skillfully.
So what’s the workaround? Here are three that have helped:
1. Use fear, but wisely.
Fear got me to the gym in the first place. When the discomfort of not doing something finally outweighs the pain of doing it, we move. But fear isn’t a sustainable strategy for long-term growth. It’s a spark, not a fuel source.
2. Challenge your catastrophizing.
Your brain will tell you you’re going to fail, that it’s going to be terrible, that you’ll look ridiculous. Let it talk. But then reply: “I hear you. And that’s probably not true.” You’ve survived worse. You’ll survive this. And you might even get stronger.
3. Make decisions in advance. And then stop renegotiating.
“The morning brain doesn’t decide. It just does.” That’s the rule I follow now. The decision to work out was made when I booked the class. My 5:10 AM self doesn’t get a vote. The same goes for writing deadlines, dentist appointments, and faculty reviews. I show up because past me made the call.
So what are you avoiding, even though you know it’s good for you?
Don’t shame yourself. This resistance is literally in your DNA. But if that resistance is keeping you from being the person you want to be? Then it’s time to evolve your way out of it.
I’ll see you at the gym. 5:30 AM. Bring coffee.