How to Find (and Keep) the People in Your Mentorship Village

Last week, I wrote about the seven different people you need in your village as an academic physician.

If you’ve realized you’re missing a piece of your mentorship puzzle, you might be wondering:

“How do I find them?”

Or, if you’ve already got mentors you value, you might ask:

“How do I hang onto them?”

For simplicity, let’s call all seven types of people from last week’s post - mentor, sponsor, advocate, coach, ally, role model, and peer mentor - by the single term: mentor.

First, About That “Dirty Word”…

The answer to both questions is networking.

If that word makes you cringe, take a deep breath. We’re not talking about schmoozing in a conference ballroom full of people in suits, eyes darting around for The Biggest Deal, ready to abandon a conversation mid-sentence once they spot them. We’re talking about normal humans interacting in normal situations.

Yes, some of us are still socially rusty post-COVID. Yes, introverts may prefer the safety of a metaphorical hamster ball. But the truth is, you already interact with people all the time, in both ordinary and extraordinary situations. And you survive.

Your brain resists networking because it wants to protect you from rejection. That’s normal. But remember: you and the person you’re approaching are just two people having a conversation. Easy. Peasy.

Do Your Homework

If this is a formal, high-stakes potential mentor, do some research before you reach out.

Google their work. Read their LinkedIn posts. If they share a glimpse of life outside of medicine, take note without crossing into stalker territory. Mentioning something like, “I hear you’re into Kubb. Is that more about skill or luck?” shows you see them as a whole person, not just a rung on your career ladder.

Social Media Smarts

Begin by establishing a presence on professional platforms like LinkedIn before expanding into their personal social media spaces. And instead of passively “liking” everything they post, contribute thoughtfully to the conversation in the comments. It boosts their post, creates meaningful dialogue, and shows you bring value to the discussion.

Build the Relationship

Cold-contacting a potential mentor? Go for it. After the professional meeting, make sure to give non-work conversation some airtime. These are the relationships worth formalizing with a mentorship agreement and scheduling regular meetings.

For more casual mentors, you’ll need a different approach: one that keeps the connection alive between professional asks. Try “Contact List Roulette,” adapted from Jordan Harbinger’s 6-Minute Networking course. Instead of scrolling social media in the elevator, scroll your contact list and text someone you haven’t spoken to in a while:

“Hey, I was thinking of you and wondering what you’re up to. Hope all is well!”

Though making this work requires practice (committing to doing it every queue and elevator ride each Monday, for example), it’s an exercise in low-effort, high-return relationship maintenance. Use the same principle with your email or LinkedIn connections. Just apply common sense. If you think your message will be a pleasant surprise, send it. If you think it could give your recipient the ick, don’t.

Make It Mutually Beneficial

Mentoring is not a one-way street. Even if you’re very junior, you can offer value to your mentor. Offer to help them build their professional social media presence if it needs some work. Nominate them for awards. Publicly recognize their achievements. Introduce them to colleagues in your network who could be helpful to them. You can even step into a sponsor role for them when the opportunity arises.

Strong mentoring relationships last because both people benefit: professionally, personally, or both.

Why It Matters

Yes, some of this can feel transactional. But avoiding networking altogether slows your career progress and may make your journey lonelier. A strong, diverse community isn’t just good for your CV; it’s one of the surest ways to prevent burnout and to recover from it if it happens.

Remember: everyone likes to be liked, including The Biggest Deal you’re hoping will fill one of your seven mentor roles. Being fawned over can be awkward. Making a genuine connection over shared interests? That can be the start of something great.